Gods And Fools

Where We Might Agree

We spend much time futilely seeking to get others to accept obvious facts and realities. If we spent a bit more time accepting the legitimate values that shape their reading of facts and realities, we would open a small space for real dialogue. And if we spent a bit more time reflecting on, and communicating, how specific values shape our own reading of facts, we may find that we and our opponents are far closer than we realized in our understanding of reality.

On belief

Most fanaticism is really skepticism, accompanied by the desire to force the hand of the gods and settle the matter at last.

On dignity

We look at honor-based traditional cultures and mock the crimes they commit in their efforts to "save face" or to reclaim their supposedly lost honor. But all societies value dignity supremely.

Individuals and societies often slight the dignity of competitors for short-term gain or even just for smug self-satisfaction. It rarely pays off in the end, though. Protecting the dignity of our rival is the hardest task. It is a feat approaching godliness.

Jerk Test

How do you know that you're with a jerk? You'll know because all their stories have to do with how other people are jerks.

How do you know if you're a jerk? You'll know because you spend all day lamenting how other people are jerks to you. Gentle and decent people are too busy building a reservoir of goodwill among their peers to wallow in a feeling of persecution.

How do you begin getting over being a jerk? You begin the painful process of investigating honestly your effect on others.

The Never-Ending Sandbox

Most conflicts are based on the same grievances a person had at the age of four:  "But he started it," or "I know you are, but what am I?" or "Daddy never listens to us." That's why we still make quips about peers who "can't play nice in the sandbox."

The most dangerous people in the world are those who have learned in the intervening years how to bring added eloquence, rhetoric and statistics to back up those childish grievances. 

The 5% Rule of Leadership

Most people crave the seat of the leader, mainly due to envy and the sense that such glory befits them. Of this majority, 50 percent would not know what to do with authority if they had it. Forty percent would be tossed out in a mutiny (or backstabbed at a bare minimum). Five percent would succeed temporarily. That leaves about five percent of people aspiring to leadership who can make a lasting difference for the better.

Understanding

If you truly do your best to understand your family, your friends and your colleagues, you have a chance to understand why they will probably never understand you. Don't underestimate the value of this accomplishment.

Character

The challenge is to keep the content of one's character consistent, whether being praised or slighted or ignored or condemned.

The Decider

The person who is afraid of the darkness which lies within his own soul will dismiss all self-reflection as effete, while seeking to cure all evils in the outer world with the point of his sword.

This is the difference between the person who thinks that the great jihad, or crusade, of life is an inner struggle and those who insist that it is an outer struggle.

Trust vs. Loyalty

Trust is when you can count on someone.

Loyalty is when you're physically attached to someone.

Only the first is a virtue.